Volunteers Needed

After seeing a desperate facebook advertisement looking for people to join the California volunteer firefighters, I felt filled with the gift of giving. I decided I'd help their cause by giving them some updated, trendy advertisements to help swell their ranks.

You want people to risk their ass? Pay them some damn money. I got news for you: if my house is on fire, then not surprisingly, I'm already a volunteer firefighter. I'm attempting to put that shit out, just as well as anyone with no formal firefighting training can. Why would someone sign up to get paid nothing for putting out other people's fires? That's what firefighters get paid for.

By the way, California also needs volunteers to either battle inner-city crime with nothing more than a handheld crosswalk stop sign, or someone to stand on a conveyor belt moving towards a large rotary saw. Both also unpaid positions...unless unnecessary personal risk is considered payment.