Let Me Tell You About A Porcupines Balls

Thursday, June 23, 2011

How You Found My Damn Blog

According to Google Analytics, here're the usual, and healthy, search terms that land a decent amount of you jerks on my blog.

Mmmmm....yes. Timelessly wonderous and zesty.
I've been trying to figure it out for neigh on 30 years now. Sadly, I've ruined many a rug.
What; to good to hold them out and slice at them with a small paring knife, like everyone else?
80 grit ought to do it. Works for sheet metal.
Error 509: tits too big to fit on Google's servers.
I told you they were a work in progress!
Internet, please take me to chapter 78 of the great online novel "Dick Sex" please.
Shitting on your own penis is a very real, and very non-insurance-covered effect.
I'm hard pressed to tell the difference between a real porcupine license, and a fake one. I wish you luck on your journey, Mr. Bond.
Dammit Richard Gere, I told you to peddle your shit-covered hamsters somewhere else!
Everything you wish to learn can be obtained by witnessing the magical molecular ballet that unfolds as you press your head into an open pit of flames....and shit!
How many is enough for you, sir? It'll never be enough, will it?
Try....sex? With your vagina?
I hope you find a several-step answer to great taint success. Just make sure the last two steps are "rinse", and "never tell anyone how awkward that was".
Rub them between two sticks. I learned that little trick on Survivor Man.
Next week on Dr. House: the team diagnoses the rare disease "crotch-assle-leprosy".
Grammatically and logistically I'm not sure any of what you just said works.
You mean "completely normal everyday boner", right?
If you insert enough of them into the tip, some amount of rigidity is bound to ensue.

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