A Sad Day for Canada, and Thus, the World

I, like the rest of the civilized world, am appalled at the actions of many Canadians in Vancouver.

After the smoke had cleared, and the broken glass had been swept up, I find myself confused and hurt by one looming question that still remains: when did hockey become such serious business?

The following is an excerpt of things the world-stage views as important / legitimate:


1. Overpopulation
2. Chinese Globalization
3. Korean Sneak Attacks
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.
.
.
.
.
.
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55. AIDS
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.
.
.
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98. Oddly-shaped McDonalds Chicken Nuggets
.
.
.
.
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184. Canada
185. Hockey

Hockey ranks even lower than Canada itself does in terms of world legitimacy. Therefore, it's simply mind-boggling that such neanderthalian reactions could stem from a sport which consists ostensibly of attempting to push a dog turd off a hard-wood floor using a window squeegee.

Among the many shocking photos taken during the senseless vandalism spree, this one ranks as the most savage and telling one I've found:

Truly a sad day for Canada.

As this brutal photo reveals to us, we can see that not only was the hockey outcome of paramount causality to the event, but it appears that a combination of Molson beer and maple syrup fueled a cities' transformation from a home to peaceful, jean-jacket wearing lumberjacks with orange mullets, into a much darker vicious spiral of violence and candid Facebook photos.

This is not the America's Hat that we've all come to know...and quickly forget about.