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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Deconstructing Idiotic Infographics

Time for another installment of this ever-popular series. Unfortunately, however, it's still on the same subject of the Occupy movement. Likely as a result of their movement being so legitimate that their followers have to post asinine infographics on the internet to prove how legitimate it actually is. I understand how this is convenient method for them, however, given that their collective employment at The Apple Store affords them the luxury of being near computers all day. Hey, it's not my fault they keep making them.

Today's offender:

Allow us for a moment to indulge your analogy.

  • It is possible that my disdain for the Occupy movement stems from being plugged into corporate America so much that I'm blind to their tyranny.
  • It is possible that this all-controlling system is so ingrained into me that I'm simply denied the ability to comprehend an outcome to your movement that doesn't result in its followers becoming so frustrated they light themselves on fire out of rage, resulting in a long sought after net-positive outcome in the form of there simply being less of them around.
  • It is possible that by being plugged into this system, similar to in the movie, it actually alters my perceptions of the world around me. For instance, could it be that in the real, unaltered world, Occupy members are heroic and wise warriors standing up against an evil that threatens to consume us all, while in this world the system makes them simply appear to be whiny, feckless hippies with seemingly no goal and even less means to accomplish it?
It's possible
  • It is possible that, similar to the previous possibility, that the entire world around us is an elaborate ruse designed to keep the masses passive. It is possible that all the tent-dwelling Occupy members are advancing the real world, and ,indeed, our very freedom, by leaps and bounds through successful skirmishes with the establishment that traps us all. All the while, in this fabricated existence, it only appears that the Occupy movement is merely an unsuccessful riot akin to throwing a temper tantrum when another kid has the toy you wanted.

I suppose, however, that to the majority of us, your analogy is just seen as a futile attempt to bind the fantasy world in which you live to a scenario that's so frightfully stupid to us that we'd never be able to comprehend your motives without some pop-culture reference that indicates that it's simply over our heads.

I know times are rough for you all though, what with Apple revoking your Christmas bonuses for spending all five of your allotted sick days in a drum circle on Wall Street. At least it was only a virtual bonus though, only existing in fictional world, so you didn't actually miss out on anything.

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