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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Legitimate Health Article: I.B.S.

What is I.B.S.?

I.B.S. is short for Irritable Boner Syndrome. Generally speaking I.B.S. is categorized by unusual, ill-timed, and crippling erections.

To date, there has only been one type of I.B.S. identified: acute I.B.S.

What causes I.B.S.?

Acute I.B.S.'s root causes are not fully understood, but the disease has been directly linked to the following conditions: Sex Addition, Internet Access, Gentle Breezes, Pants Spiders and Possessed Penis Virus.

What are the symptoms?

The most common symptom of I.B.S. is an often embarrassing and prickly erection that can last well into that important meeting you have, or the time you have to pick the children up from school. This condition is also known as "a boner that just won't quit". Primary things to look for to identify I.B.S. are pants ripped in the crotch region and a sudden and unexplained tilted desk at work; both of which are caused by the powerful erection pressing against them.

How is I.B.S. diagnosed?

Your doctor will ask you about your symptoms and examine for pup-tents. This information allows for an accurate I.B.S. diagnosis in short order.

At home you can check for I.B.S. by attempting to drive a nail into your wall using your penis. If you succeed, you most definitively have I.B.S.

How is it treated?

In most cases, I.B.S. will subside if left untreated. Sadly, there's no proven treatment for the disease that leads to erection reduction; leaving patience and waiting as the only viable option. The following are often-attempted remedies that have little to no effect on I.B.S., despite common sense:
  •  Slapping the erection
  •  Flicking of the testes
  •  Watching Sex and the City
  •  Screaming at it
Normally instantly flaccid

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