Let Me Tell You About A Porcupines Balls

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Powers of Ten

It's often wondered why it is that I don't seem to give of a shit about anything. Briefly holding my lack of shit giving at bay, allow me to take you on a magical journey to find exactly how much of a shit I give on any given subject:

100 Meters
Me as usual, just being consumed with not giving a shit. Food, books, out-of-place clocks...I can't be bothered.

10-1 Meters
Just a hand. No shits here. Move along.

10-2 Meters
Hmmm, no shits found yet.

10-3 Meters
Damn my skin looks like a freaky anus. An anus containing no figurative shits.

10-5 Meters
One of my many magic white orb guardians. It's no doubt that they've destroyed many of the shits I might have given.

10-6 Meters
Just a normal cell nucleus vagina cluster. Could any of the invisible shits be hiding in there? Let's find out!

10-7 Meters
Fuck, my chromosomes are even less organized than the rest of my life. Sadly, no mysterious shits found yet.

10-8 Meters
Those double helix's are up to no good, no uncertainties about that. But alas, even this scale doesn't reveal how little shit I give.

10-9 Meters
I'm sure there's something witty to say about these DNA base pairs, but alas...not enough shits given. And still we delve deeper...

10-10 Meters
Fuck you, outer electron shell of a carbon atom. Where my hell is my level of shit-giving hiding?

10-12 Meters
What's all this now?

10-14 Meters
Hey! Carbon nucleus! Have you seen anything that resembles a shit being given around here? No? Alright then.

10-15 Meters
Certainly, this 1 Fermi scale should reveal what we've been looking for. But frankly, it doesn't because it's still much too large of a scale.

10-18 Meters
Finally! At the scale of quarks, my long lost shits have been found. It appears that the majority of the subatomic universe is comprised of shits that I don't give. Neat!

As we can see, it takes theoretical physics to uncover the amount of shit I give. At the string theory level, my ungiven shits may actually be composed of even tinier shits that I don't give. But, frankly, I don't give a shit enough to dig into it.

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