Non-FCC Approved Advertisements

Thanks to stringent FCC regulations, all of you delicate people and your Faberge children are safe from naughty, murderer-creating, funny, interesting and generally creative television and radio broadcasts. I'd hate to live in a place where off-color language and suggestive images are allowed to permeate into my home...like Europe. Fuck that place.

After illegally digging through the FCC's Standards and Practices division's files and having a good rummage through them, I thought I'd share some of the terribly dangerous and disapproved slogans / advertisements that were submitted by some common-place companies over the years.

	1951 - Unsubstantiated and Vulgar "Coca-Cola Makes You Impotent. Have a Youthful Cock with Pepsi" 1959 - Derogatory "Don't be a Damn Commie, Drink Pepsi" 1965 - Vulgar "Be Young, Get Handjobs In Your Dad's Mustang, Drink Pepsi" 1967 - Denigrating "The Choice of Both Draft-Dodging Hippies and Real Americans Alike" 1981 - Unsubstantiated and Salacious "You're Safe From the Gay's AIDS. You're Part of the Pepsi Generation"
	1905 - Unsubstantiated "Coca-Cola Satisfies and Makes You Invincible. Seriously. Invincible." 1907 - Vulgar and Salacious "More Cooling and Refreshing Than a Big Ol' Titty" 1955 - Derogatory "The Pepsi Logo Looks Like a Fat Ninny. You Don't Want to be a Fat Ninny, Do You?" 1974 - Vulgar and Derogatory "Nixon is a Conspiritus Prick. Choose America's Real Drink"
	1955 - Unsavory "Not Even Atom Bombs Can Stop Innovation" 1969 - Unsubstantiated "We Put a Man on the Moon" 1979 - Vulgar "It's Not Cheap Shit. It's a Sony" 1985 - Derogatory "TVs Bigger Than Your Expansive American Wife" 1989 - Unsavory "Technology So Surprising That It'll Sink Your Pacific Fleet"
	1960 - Derogatory "Visa. Live Well Beyond Your Means You Vagabond" 1967 - Derogatory and Vulgar "Visa. Your Neighbor is a Cunt. Buy That Bigger TV" 1981 - Vulgar and Salacious "Visa. New Tits Are Only $5,000. Think About It"
	1952 - Vulgar and Unsubstantiated "Is That Bayer Aspirin? If Not, It'll Make Your Cock Fall Off" 1964 - Unsubstantiated and Sexist "Bayer Aspirin Makes Your Wife Nearly Silent" 1973 - Unsubstantiated and Misleading "Take it for Pain. Take it to Make it into Heaven"
	1972 - Vulgar and Salacious "Only the Most Expensive Hookers Wet Your Dick. Treat Yourself to a Ferrari" 1974 - Vulgar and Sexist "No Ferrari in Your Garage? You Have a Clitoris" 1984 - Vulgar and Derogatory "Miami Vice is for Fags. You Deserve a Real Ferrari"
	1928 - Vulgar "Other Ground Corn Flours Are Shit" 1942 - Unsubstantiated and Misleading "We Use ONLY Grains That Are Guaranteed to Not Give You Polio" 1953 - Misleading and Unsavory "The Only Cereals That Are Strictly Anti-Child Rape"