Let Me Tell You About A Porcupines Balls

Monday, April 4, 2011

Rummaged My Pixels

Amid allegations of animal cruelty and illegal hunting stemming from a recently released video of him shooting an elephant, GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons released the following press statement today:

"It's come to my attention that a recent video involving me and an elephant has stirred some strong feelings from both Animals organizations such as PETA, as well as lovers of animals in general. I think before unduly judging me, it's more than appropriate that I get to share my side of the story. Although one can't tell from the video, the elephant shown had been aggressively attacking and damaging my business over the past month. Like a farmer protecting his fields of crops from wild pigs or deer, I feel that it was appropriate for me to deal with the situation summarily. Sadly, due to the size difference, the only means I had at my disposal involved deadly force upon the animal.

The aforementioned damage to GoDaddy was severe enough that we had begun to experience technical problems as a result, forcing me to act. For the past month, the elephant had been uprooting and trampling countless numbers of internet pixels, which were GoDaddy's property. Pixels are the primary product at GoDaddy, and thus this disturbance to our service could not be allowed to continue.

Mr. Parsons then released the following GoDaddy security photo to illustrate the severity of the damage to the pixel crop:

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