One of my least favorite of all the social conventions is one that takes place if you're a male that works in an office setting. It's something that's thrust upon you as a result of people who are forced to work with you attempting to feign some common ground between your lives.
What I speak of is the post-haircut question: "did you get a haircut?"
As far as feigning interest in someone's life, bonding over hair maintenance is about as low as it gets. It's so common and banal that it doesn't even serve as a common ground between people. Might as well bond over pissing, or putting a shirt on every morning.
The following is a short list of responses I've been forced to use in order to point out the stupidity of the question:
- No, I did not. My hair just grew back into my head because I have a weird Benjamin Button disease. Thanks for pointing it out and making me self conscious.
- I don't think so.
*run fingers through my hair*
Oh...my...god...
Where did my damn hair go!
- I just started chemotherapy, but thanks for your continued interest in my life.
- I was raped last night. But instead of my sex, they just held me down and forcibly took my hair. Please don't mention it again.
 |
| What's going on there? Did you get pregnant? |
 |
| Hey, are your legs not working? |
 |
| You look different. Are you on fire? |
 |
| Hey, does your alpaca have wheels for its hind legs? |
No comments:
Post a Comment