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Friday, March 18, 2011

Breaking Nuclear News

Japanese Government Raises Alert

Breaking news from Japan today, where the government, in light of the recent increases in radioactive exposure, has raised the Mothra warning level from four to five.

The Mothra warning level is on a scale from one to seven, with one being Mothra is cocooned and unavailable and seven meaning that Mothra is actively terrorizing the country.

Government officials state that increases in radioactivity are likely to cause the Mothra pupa to awaken, and seek vengeance for the disturbance. In the wake of the recent tsunami devastation, the government emphasized that they were ill-prepared for a Mothra attack at this time; citing that the happy blaster toe laser defense team is currently preoccupied with recovery efforts.

Pew pew pew
The government warns that citizens are to take Mothra warning levels seriously, as she has proven to be a formidable opponent; reminding citizens of the damage she did to the Tokyo Tower just a few decades ago.

She was pissed
As always, stay tuned for any current Mothra news as it becomes available.

1 comment:

  1. A retired Godzilla was not available for comment.