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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Legitimate Health Article: W.A.S.

What is W.A.S.?

W.A.S. is short for Weeping Anus Syndrome. W.A.S. means that fluids are, generally, escaping uncontrollably from the anus. Both children and adults can get W.A.S.

There are two types of W.A.S.:

1) Acute W.A.S. usually comes on quickly, and lasts for a few hours.

2) Chronic W.A.S. keeps coming back and can last a long time, especially in those that are overweight.

This article focuses on acute W.A.S.

What causes W.A.S.?

Acute W.A.S. is generally caused by eating copious amounts of Mexican, and sometimes Indian, food. In rare cases W.A.S. is caused by bacteria. The high amounts of grease and dog / donkey meat in the above types of foods are the primary substances responsible for W.A.S.

What are the symptoms?

The most common symptom of W.A.S. is a uncontrollable clear, oily leakage that leaves an embarrassing translucent spot on your pants. Much like you find on the receipt and plate of the food that caused the syndrome to begin with:

This symptom is typically referred to as "pissing out your ass".

How is W.A.S. diagnosed?

Your doctor will ask you about your symptoms and examine / smell you. This usually gives the doctor enough information to find out if you have W.A.S.

At home you can test for W.A.S. by checking to see if it appears as though you'd been cooking bacon in your underpants.

How is it treated?

Most people can treat the symptoms of W.A.S. at home until the food leaves your system.
  •  Drink plenty of fluids.
  •  If you're out in public, fill your pants with paper towels and hope for the best.
  • For the fastest recovery, apply household degreasers directly into the anus.

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