Let Me Tell You About A Porcupines Balls

Thursday, March 3, 2011

eBay Art Gems

Aside from cheap Chinese electronics and stolen car parts, eBay is also rife with a variety questionable private art items. Set your art-boners to full blast:

Probably one of the top three "smiling dinosaur contained in fenced-in backyard" watercolors on eBay at the moment. I admire the strong, beautiful lines the most; some of which are even colored inside of.

Beautiful use of colors and textures make this a quality piece for those scouring the "disproportioned air balloon with pig-tail and random eye-stalk" market.

Any home would be proud to display this truly inspiring "Eddie Munster clutching wolfman doll" print. Guests will be sure to enjoy both your love of pop-culture, and your willingness to hang any nonsensical item on your wall.

To clear up any confusion: this is a penis made out of blown glass. The disproportioned balls tell everyone that only the finest post-modern art meets your exacting standards.

The only problem with this piece is finding only a single place in your house to hang your "merman clutching seaweed while packing semi-erect penis" tile.

What better way to express your confusing love of a combination of women's equality / knitted animals / racist blackface, than with this piece that seems to contain all three?

Who among us can honestly say that they don't, on some level, enjoy seeing misshapen lumberjack housewives placing rabbits in choke-holds? I know I can't.

I stand before you as a man who can admit when he's wrong. I assumed that one could not make a lithograph of Pee-Wee Herman any more homosexual than it inherently would be. But that randomly placed Italian mustache has proven me wrong.

Nothing really wrong with this one; just a well-made sculpture of Iggy Pop.

The longer it takes to make a piece of art, the more legitimate it becomes. Knowing that, nothing screams "legitimacy" like dozens of hand cut pieces of glass, assembled together to resemble a dachshund in a hotdog bun with mustard on it. Bravo, artisan.

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