Tomb Of Knowledge

WITHOUT putting strawberries in your butthole? Dang.
Have you tried talking with them in person? I bet that would do it.

Look to see if she's wearing a letterman jacket.
That or an algebra book in her vagina would be a dead giveaway.

Well, an average human arm weighs about 10lbs. Cut both of yours off as a weekend project. Good luck!

Ahhh, yes. The ol' boat anchor syndrome.
I would suggest affixing a sail to it, thus using it to your advantage.

Wait, wait, wait...you want to STOP doing that?

Go to your health care provider immediately and tell them you have Yellow Fever.
They'll know what to do.

With the help of modern microprocessors, scientists have finally been able to answer this age-old question.
The answer is "11.7 kill yourselfs".

Dear siblings: please teach me more about your conflict resolution skills.

Science has proven that babies have a soft spot on the tops of their heads for the
express purpose of protecting them against giant horse dildos.
You're golden!

This haunting is probably just your periods.
Women often sync their cycles when they live together, and it is quite spooky.

This is a common question.
The muzzle velocity of any modern firearm should be enough to force the fill into the cat's body cavity.

I found one in my microwave once.
It was the damnedest thing.

Get married.
Best of luck to you!

Talk about the Twilight series of books.

Vaginal Displacement Flatulence is no laughing matter.
It effects literally up to 2 women per year.

All signs point to this being a legitimate reason for insurance payout.
Why wait for an accident though?
Shitting your pants in your insurance agent's office should have the same effect.

Carefully leave the child's birthday party, and hope to god that it's not windy outside.

Fire. Or possibly a shower of some sort; but for sure fire.

Congratulations! You're going to be a mommy and daddy!

Shut up! Those sounds let you know whether I'm pleased or angry!