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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Cosmopolitan Magazine - Fuck Magic

In our never-ending quest to provide our readers a list of new, exciting, and never done before ways to please their man every single week, we now present this weeks HOT!!! new sexy list that's sure to keep your man putting up with your shit for a while longer.

10 Top Dirty, Sexy Moves Your Man Loves in Bed

1 Giving a Ham-mer

Here's a top tip for when it's time for oral pleasure on your man. Prior to chugging it down, make a nice ham sandwich. Chew up a bite of that sandwich and keep it in your mouth, then begin the blowing. The ham chunks will drive his cock wild!
2 Happy Snapper

While performing oral blowjobbing on your man, take a rubber band in one hand, and use the other hand to position that rubber band into a firing or snapping position. Repeatedly snap your man directly in his taint in this style. Let the release of potential energy push his release over the edge!

3 The Barber Shop

While having sex, climb up and ride your man cowgirl style. While fucking his brains out, get a pair of scissors and begin trimming your pubes; letting the pubes rain down on his stomach. The thought of your commitment to hygiene and multitasking will make his cock harder than ever!
4 The Convection Oven

Let your man take you missionary style. When he's up to his nuts, pull your knees up to your chest. Your man will think you're helping him get extra deep up in your crevice, but then surprise him by blowing a warm fart on his dangling balls. Guaranteed to drive him wild and fog up the windows with passion!

5 The Conquistador

Let your man have sex with you in his favorite position. Really get into it, with moaning and letting him know he's really rippin' and tearin' it up. Then, as he nears his climax, let him know that the blanket you two are using is covered in the smallpox virus. Nothing fires up your man's sex drive more than either the thought of getting caught, or the thought of certain death!
6 The Pig in a Blanket

With the warm summer months fast approaching, here's a summer treat you can give your man. After a long day at work, surprise your man with a handjob; but not just any ordinary handjob. First, place a slice of American cheese in the palm of your hand, and then proceed to tug him out. This makes for a creamy summer treat that he's sure to enjoy!

7 American's Sexiest Home Surprise

Surprise your man during a planned evening of sex with a video camera. Film your hot and wild acts, and when done, surprise him with the tapes by duplicating them and leaving them at his place of work and with his friends and family. The idea of filming the action and watching it later with friends and strangers is a sexy gift that keeps on giving!
8 F-Bombs

Few things will excite your man in the heat of the moment as much as a well-timed sexy comment reinforcing how well he's doing. To really turn up the heat, try a few of these sexy sayings:
  • "Oh yeah baby! Your dick is so strong! Like retard-strength strong!"
  • "Fuck me baby! Your cock feels amazing! Like a vine-ripened cucumber!"
  • "You like that daddy? Yeah! I like it when you make my period late!"
  • "Yeah, slap my ass! I love to explain away those sexy bruises you give me!"
  • "Sex man! Na na na na na na na na na, sex man!"
9 Bejeweled

It's a well-known fact that the way to any man's heart is through his stomach. It's also known that vajazzling is a sexy and legitimate means of seduction. Why not combine the two! Instead of using rhinestones for your vajazzle job, using bacon bits. It's a sexy and salty treat that's sure to keep him coming back for more!

10 The Pussy Bank

Here's a sexy game you can play with your man! Light a few candles around the bedroom, and really set the intimate mood for the evening. As things start to heat up, tell your man that instead of sex, you want him to fill your lady-dew lined love-purse with all the loose change he can find. It's not only a fun and sexy game for you both, but it also helps you manage your finances!

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